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Doccit
All About Him
Webster's Dictionary defines "Docket" as a list of cases in a court awaiting trial or the names of the parties who have cases pending, but that is only a homophone to The Good Doctor (and one of his many aliases), and defining him will prove far more difficult. Doccit was born into Communist Hungary in 1952 amidst a poor family of cobblers. Fortunately, during one of Hungary's weekly parades of soviet missiles and tanks, he won the heart of Josef Stalin (who was present at every such parade) with his famous trick involving two lightbulbs, a cinderblock and his tongue. The young upstart was invited back to Communism's head honcho's palace for dinner and over the years gradually gained his trust through consistent victory at Texas Hold'em. On his 12th birthday he stormed Stalin's office armed only with a garbage bag full of popcorn, which he than started flinging about with wild abandon! (Fun fact: all communists are violently allergic to popcorn. It's true! Next time you are down in Cuba chuck some at your bellhop for hours of instant fun!) He than escaped to an unarmed nuclear missile which he rode all the way to New Jersey, but he subsequently decided was a bit too vulgar for a 12 year old and relocated to Canada. He grew up to become the kind of person that would force me to write this paragraph and hit me for writing this sentence. Despite being a little over 60, he doesn't look a day over 16! He enjoys long walks on the beach, making sh*t up to put in his DJ profile and the occasional piece of brisket.
"Ask a Doctor"
Webster's dictionary does not have anything to say about "Ask a Doctor" so I hope you appreciate the extra effort that this is taking me. Anyway, Doccit, or as he is often called, Doc, hosts "Ask a Doctor". On this show he and his pet ostrich (that he never talks about or acknowledges the presence of) blather on aimlessly about the state of the world, and take questions that are sent via kmail to his multi: "Docket" (a draw is held at the end of the show between the people who sent him questions for a prize). These questions can be anything ranging from personal questions to trivia to advice; he answers them to the best of his ability and luckily for you he is the smartest person in the world! (So smart, in fact, that he made his doctorate invisible in an experiment, I swear!) Not knowing the answer to a question never stop him from answering it. Between these segments in the show Doccit mostly plays what iTunes calls "Alternative", "Punk" and "Pop" but what he likes to call "soft-rock supported with 80’s, 90’s and some nerdcore for giggles." His favorites bands include Blur, Franz Ferdinand, The Barenaked Ladies, The Police and of course, (despite it being out of place), MC Frontalot.
Requests and Donations
Requests are quite welcome to his show. They too are to be kmailed to the "Docket" multi (preferably with the music files uploaded to raipdshare but other uploaders are also fine). There is no guarantee that they will be played but he will always try to fit the song in somewhere unless he is absolutely opposed to the music for some reason - don’t be afraid to ask. His battle ostrich is up in Canada and can't get across the boarder to attack you (it hasn't had it's shots yet). Donations are of course welcome and should be sent to Docket (just like everything else...) with "Donation" marked in the subject box. If you would really like to help him out and give him something to do then order something from his art shop, which can be found here. He made all the pictures on this page himself!